There are things you can control and others you cannot. You will get ornaments home from school that your kid made. You cannot make them good. And apparently, neither can they. Why is macaroni a medium? Does anyone actually eat wagon wheel pasta or should they just move it to the craft aisle?
But here is your tree, gorgeous and alive, begging you to reclaim it. No ornament should be al dente. Fight back.
And if you don't do trees, you can just hang it on your wall and show your kids that they actually have to put in some effort. You've got standards.
Each piece has hand-painted red-orange edges and sketched squiggle paths. Hung with a thin velvet ribbon and packed with a certificate of authenticity.